Creating Good Sleep Habits the Second Time Around

March 4, 2018 by Well Rested Baby

I’ll preface this blog post by saying – this is a work in progress! My son is 10 weeks old and while sleep is nowhere near perfect (children are not robots, after all), we are in a MUCH better place than when my twins were this age. Back in 2015 I had zero knowledge of good sleep habits, or babies at all really, and once I started to really learn about it – I learned we were doing everything wrong! I’m right back in the same boat as many of our clients which has been both a humbling experience, and a very empowering one as I can see healthy sleep habits really making an impact, even this early on.

I knew from my training at the Family Sleep Institute that the first 6 weeks are really a free for all. However you can maximize sleep for both mom and baby – as long as it follows safe sleep guidelines, is fair game. I did a lot of baby wearing and Netflix-watching while bouncing him in a bouncy chair. Bad habits cannot be created this young as a baby’s brain is simply too immature to form connections. I’m a big fan of Harvey Karp’s “Happiest Baby on the Block” methods to help calm a fussy baby and encourage sleep. Light therapy, exposing a newborn to lots sunlight during the day (even a well lit room can serve this purpose) can help end day and night confusion more quickly. Regardless, – those first 6 weeks were TIRING. Anyone who says “sleep when the baby sleeps” has never had twin toddlers in addition to a newborn. Sleep deprivation on top of twin motherhood, c-section recovery and the blistering cold temperatures of this past December made for a long stretch. But this time around, I at least knew it wasn’t forever.

Once our baby boy started smiling socially (indicating that he was becoming a more social being and was now able to form associations) I knew it was time to start making some changes to how we were doing things. It was exciting but also scary – because even though I know how important good sleep habits are, I also knew it was going to take a lot of time and consistency (in other words, it’s a lot of work!). We’ve had a couple of weeks to implement some good habits and I’ll say that while sometimes it feels like we’re banging our heads against a wall…our baby boy is going into his bassinet wide awake around 7PM, putting himself to sleep, and sleeping 9+ hour stretch until his one nursing session of the night. I have a whole new appreciation and enthusiasm for what we do at Well Rested Baby. Here are a few things that we’ve been doing that I would recommend to clients with babies 6-8+ weeks of age:

Establish a consistent place to sleep. While Declan sleeps in a bassinet in our room at night, we are trying to have all of his daytime sleep happen in his crib. Now that he is becoming more social a busy environment is too distracting and does not allow for lengthy naps. Unfortunately, at this age your baby is no longer “as portable” and cannot sleep anywhere, anytime. Additionally, because he is now capable of forming associations we want to lessen the use of sleep props (RnP, stroller, carrier, car etc.) so that he can learn to associate his crib with sleep. The best environment for sleep is dark, (think cave-like), with white noise on a consistent “shhh” sound. The crib should not contain anything aside from a pacifier if your baby uses one.
Pay attention to awake time. Although he is not on a super set schedule at this age, after about 60-90 minutes of awake time (after his previous nap) he should be fast asleep again. At the 60-90-minute mark after his last nap we get him back into his crib before he’s too tired to settle into a good sleep. It’s important to keep babies rested – as overtiredness is the root cause of many sleep issues.
Develop a soothing routine. With two other small children in the house, I wanted to keep our soothing routine very short and simple. When it’s time for sleep, we change his diaper, swaddle him up, turn the lights off and the white noise on and put him in his crib. It’s as simple as that – but if done consistently he will start to associate this little routine with going to sleep. Small things, over time, make a big impact.
Put baby down awake. I rock Declan for a very short time so that he’s content when going into his crib – but wide awake. Watching him learn how to put himself to sleep has been extremely rewarding. As time goes on, the ability to put himself BACK to sleep when he wakes will allow him to take long naps and sleep through the night without our help. Scientist and author Alice Callahan notes that one of the most consistent findings in infant sleep research is that “babies who fall to sleep on their own at the beginning of the night tend to sleep better during the night, whereas more active soothing from a parent at bedtime is associated with more disrupted sleep during the night.”
Don’t end a nap too quickly. If he wakes before he has napped for an hour (which is almost always) we implement the gentlest sleep training method, pick up/put down. This goes exactly as the name sounds – if he wakes and cries, we go to him and gently rub his chest to see if he will calm. If not, we pick him up, calm him and promptly put him back down awake to put himself back to sleep. If we get outside of the room and he’s still crying, or starts crying again, we repeat the above steps. We continue to do this until he either returns to sleep or it has been one full hour from the time he first fell to sleep. By doing this we are allowing Declan to return to sleep, practice his self-soothing skills and learn that naps should be at least an hour or more in duration. (Something that will help him get the restorative daytime sleep his brain and body needs for years to come.) You heard it from me – naps are HARD. But while naps are your worst enemy, consistency is your best friend.
Begin to implement an earlier bedtime. At this age, babies will start to get tired and seem ready for bed earlier in the evening. Let this happen! A few weeks ago, Declan was going to bed around 9. He’s now in his bassinet by 7PM and goes right to sleep. This is so much better than dealing with late evening fussiness – so don’t fight it! This will not cause additional night wakings or early morning wakings. Instead, it will allow your baby to get the consolidated sleep nighttime sleep provides rather than another catnap.
Have support. Even though I’m a sleep consultant, I still find myself needing support. Some days I feel like I’m making zero progress – but it’s important to remember that lifelong habits take consistency and time. Find some like-minded people that you can reach out to when you’re frustrated (I’m lucky enough to have WRB’s owner, Lauren, on speed dial – ha!). If you can get your partner and/or childcare provider on board it’s even better for the sake of both consistency but also to be able to take a break when you need one.
Remember why you’re doing this! Most important to remember is that even though it’s glorious to start getting longer stretches of sleep again yourself, it’s even better for your baby. Healthy sleep habits are crucial to a child’s health and development, and teaching a baby to sleep autonomously does not decrease secure attachment. As Alice Callahan said, “Being sensitive to your baby’s needs (including the need to sleep) and being consistent (including when you make changes to your sleep routine) are vital to healthy attachment, and you can absolutely maintain a secure attachment while encouraging independent sleep for your baby.”

Once our baby boy is 16 weeks, his biological rhythms will form and allow for a more set schedule. Until then, we plan to continue the above in hopes that we never reach the level of sleep deprivation we did the first time around! I hope any new mamas out there find this helpful!

Colleen is a Family Sleep Institute Pediatric Sleep Consultant trained with Well Rested Baby where she helps families navigate the confusing world of baby sleep. Please feel free to reach out to her at colleen@wellrestedbaby.com.

What You Need to Know About Preventing SIDS

October 24, 2017 by Well Rested Baby

It’s safe to say that from the moment our babies first enter this world we want to do anything and everything to keep them safe and healthy. This primal instinct to protect our children is activated seemingly instantly, so it’s no wonder Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) can be terrifying to new parents. Although tremendous progress has been made in identifying ways to reduce the risk of SIDS it is still unknown what causes it. Some studies have suggested that infants who die from SIDS are born with brain abnormalities or defects, but to date there is no screening test that identifies babies who have these abnormalities. What we do know is that a child’s sleep environment can either increase or decrease the risk of SIDS, as can other environmental factors. Just as we cannot always prevent a car accident from occurring but we wear a seatbelt to ensure our chances of survival in the event an accident occurs, we don’t want to obsess about the risk of SIDS but we do want to take all the precautions we can to reduce the risk of SIDS and sleep-related deaths. Yes, that may mean avoiding the latest gimmick on the market even if it does promise extra sleep.

Here are the Dos and Don’ts of safe sleep:
The “Don’ts”

• Do NOT co-sleep (i.e., sleep in the same bed or sleep surface)
This is a big one and a common mistake. Don’t make it! Evidence is growing that bed sharing increases the risk of SIDS. While it may seem cozy, warm, and inviting, NEVER co-sleep with your baby. Sleeping on soft surfaces (i.e. mattresses, armchairs, couches) with or without blankets is a significant risk factor for SIDS. Co-sleeping also poses the risk of entrapment and suffocation. Some studies suggest that room sharing can reduce the risk of SIDS because the parent is nearby; however, studies do not support bed sharing as a safe practice. Some caregivers will feel better about being nearby to monitor baby so if room sharing with your baby allows you to feel less anxious then it is a good decision for your family.
• DO NOT use at home monitoring devices that claim to reduce the risk of SIDS.
I know as a parent you might want to do everything you can to protect your baby but I wouldn’t recommend home monitoring devices that claim to reduce SIDS. They are proven to be unreliable, too sensitive, and thus disrupt sleep needlessly.
• DO NOT use hats or allow baby to overheat.
Dressing children in clothing that can cause them to overheat also poses a risk. The optimal temperature for sleep is somewhere in between 65-70 degrees depending upon how the child is clothed. Studies show that allowing children to overheat can cause them to enter a deep sleep that is difficult to arouse from. We do not want to dress children too warmly and we never want to cover their heads. According to the Safe to Sleep Campaign, SIDS risk is higher for infants who sleep with their heads covered than for infants who sleep without their heads covered.
• DO NOT smoke or let anyone else smoke around your baby.
• DO NOT buy pillows, positioners, hammocks, or SIMILAR ITEMS that promise extra sleep. Most, if not ALL these items, are discreetly labeled as not intended for unsupervised sleep. This is because a baby should not be sleeping on a soft surface as noted above. The safest place for a baby to sleep is on a firm, flat surface such as a crib mattress.
• DO NOT Put anything in the crib with baby.
Up until the age of one a child’s crib should not contain anything other than a pacifier. (No pillows, blankets, sheepskins anywhere in his sleep area.) Keep soft objects, toys, and loose bedding out of the sleeping area. The only lovey we endorse before the age of one is the muslin lovey square from Aden and Anais. Instead of loose blankets, use a swaddle for a little one who still has a startle reflex and choose a sleep sack or wearable blanket for your older baby. These wearable items will keep baby safe, cozy, and warm. Finally, while crib bumpers look pretty, they impede the circulation of air within your baby’s crib. (Even mesh ones that promised to be “breathable” are not recommended.)

The “Dos”

• DO provide a firm sleep surface that is covered only by a fitted sheet. Your child’s mattress should be firm and your crib sheet should be fitted.
• DO offer a pacifier.
Studies show that pacifiers reduce the risk of SIDS for all babies. We do not want to attach the pacifier to anything however and we do not need to replace if it falls out.
• DO Breastfeed
Breastfeeding is recommended and is associated with a reduced risk of SIDS.
• DO immunize your child.
Evidence suggests that immunizing children reduces the risk of SIDS by 50%.
• DO put baby down on his back for naps and nighttime sleep – ALWAYS. Make sure all caregivers know to do so as well.
• DO make sure your little one gets plenty of supervised awake tummy time to facilitate development.

We want to do everything we can to keep our children safe; no matter how tired, exhausted or sleep deprived. There are safe ways to get everyone in the family the sleep they need and deserve without the use of unsafe props or unsafe sleeping practices. If you want to learn more about how to create healthy sleep habits the safe way from the start we are here to help!

Lauren Stauffer is a Family Sleep Institute certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and owner of Well Rested Baby. She offers a host of services including in person, phone, email, and Skype/FaceTime consultations that can be tailored to meet any family’s needs and schedule. Please email her at lauren@wellrestedbaby.com to schedule a consultation.

Happy World Breast Feeding Week!

July 31, 2016 by Well Rested Baby

In honor of World Breast Feeding Week, I thought I would discuss two topics near and dear to me: Sleep & Breast Feeding.

With my occupation, it is a no brainer that I love all things sleep. However, it may surprise you that breast feeding is also way up there in my priority list. Why these two passions? Making sure that my family is getting the sleep that we each need, ensures that we are all healthy, happy, patient (that one is for me ;)) and ready to face the challenges of each day. Breast feeding has personally given me more joy than I can express while creating an amazing bond with my daughters and giving them best nutrition possible. But can the two (sleep & breast feeding) co-exist or is does one need to suffer for the other to flourish? This is a common misconception and it is 100% not true. Sleep and adequate nutrition are two of our most important biological needs. Any pediatrician will tell you that a healthy baby will not allow himself to go hungry. As a certified child sleep consultant, it is my belief that many babies are in fact in need of a night feeding through 9 months of age. With this knowledge, I often schedule night feedings into many of my client’s schedules to ensure that the baby is getting in all of the feedings he needs. And guess what? Once a baby is going to sleep before becoming overtired and knows how to put himself to sleep without assistance, he often (drumroll) sleeps right through the night and through that scheduled feed. Why? Because once a baby has mastered the art of sleep, he will choose whichever need is biologically most important – eating or sleeping (click here for more). So fear not, your breast feeding relationship and your child’s nutritional needs do not need to be sacrificed by teaching healthy sleep skills. In fact, many mom’s report to me that their nursing relationship improves when their child is well rested!

But don’t just take my word for it:
Check out this great article by Lorna C. Aliperti, APRN, IBCLC.: Can Sleep Training and Lactation Consultants Coexist?

The Take-Away:
Breastfeeding should not be sacrificed in efforts to sleep train your baby nor does it need to be. Simply provide your baby with healthy sleep hygiene and a strong foundation for sleep and when he is ready to sleep through the night without night feedings, he will do so all on his own.

Amy Lage is a graduate of the University of Massachusetts, Amherst and a Family Sleep Institute certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant. She is founder of Well Rested Baby. She offers a host of services including in person, phone, email and Skype/FaceTime consultations that can be tailored to meet any family’s needs and schedule. Please email her at amy@wellrestedbaby.com to schedule a consultation. Be sure to follow WRB on Facebook and Twitter too for more great sleep tips.

4 Reasons to Resolve to Make Your Child’s Sleep a Priority in 2018

December 29, 2015 by Well Rested Baby

Well Rested Sleep Tip: 4 Reasons to Resolve to Make Your Child’s Sleep a Priority in 2018

Eat better, exercise more, curse less – these are all great resolutions and ones that most of us have made in the past. But have you ever resolved to get more sleep? If not, that should be your goal for 2018. Sleep is a biological need that is as important as eating, but many of us do not make it a priority for our children and ourselves. Here are 4 concrete reasons why your New Years’ resolution should be improving your child’s sleep, which will in turn improve yours!

1. Babies and Toddlers Need Quality Sleep for Healthy Body and Brain Growth and Development
Gazing at your beautiful baby as he sleeps you wouldn’t guess that internally his body is anything but at rest. While your baby sleeps his reduced physical activity enables his brain to carry out vital jobs that cannot be as efficiently accomplished during wakefulness. Sleep gives his brain a chance to turn its attention to the important job of consolidating memory and learning. Making sure your child gets good, sound sleep ensures he or she will have a sound foundation for proper mind and body development. The American Academy of Pediatrics has linked babies’ insufficient sleep to everything from future obesity to behavior problems in kids. As Marc Weissbluth, MD, the author of “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child,” explains, children who don’t get enough consolidated REM sleep have shorter attention spans, so they don’t learn as well. These babies also release more of the stress hormone cortisol, setting them up for frequent night wakings and stunted naps. In short, sleep = brain power and nourishment for the body.

2. Children Who Get the Sleep they Need, Behave Better and are Generally More Enjoyable
This statement is true for children of all ages and is one that most of us have observed. A baby who has skipped a nap is usually quite fussy and unpleasant. And imagine the toddler who has not gotten in his needed sleep for the day – phew tantrums ensue, watch out! This is because when we don’t get the sleep we need, our body and brain are stressed and for a child it is easy to see how that can lead to poor behavior. While this relationship between lack of sleep and crankiness is generally accepted as true, there have recently been many studies on the topic that offer further proof. For example, this study from the University of Colorado Boulder measured the sleep patterns of toddlers aged two to three and found that for toddlers “missing even a single nap causes them to be less positive, more negative and have decreased cognitive engagement.” I think this quote from the study’s author Professor Monique LeBourgeois sums it all up: “Just like good nutrition, adequate sleep is a basic need that gives children the best chance of getting what is most important from the people and things they experience each day.” Another recent study published in the journal of Pediatrics (authored by Reut Gruber, director of the attention behavior and sleep lab at the Douglas Institute at McGill University, in Quebec) looked at children ages 7-11. One group of children went to bed earlier and got about 27 extra minutes of sleep a night while the other group stayed up later than their bedtime and lost about 54 minutes of sleep each night. “Students who were sleep-deprived not only seemed overly tired, but were more impulsive and irritable than their well-rested classmates. They were quick to cry, lose their tempers or get frustrated.” Yet another study, (this one from researchers in the United Kingdom) discusses the importance of regular bedtimes in ensuring our kids are emotionally at their best. “While all of us are crankier and less pleasant when we don’t get enough sleep, this has a particular importance for children, because experts believe that sleep is important for the development of parts of the brain that regulate behavior” explains Dr. Claire McCarthy. But the really exciting part of this study: this is reversible! Children who started having set bedtime routines caught up and behavioral issues improved.

3. Sleep = Brain Power
Did you know that the higher ones IQ is the more they sleep? Definitely an interesting fact, and one that points out the importance of sleep in intelligence and academic achievement. While the amount of sleep your child gets does not automatically predict their IQ, it is certainly important for them to preform at their best. Dr. Avi Sadeh of Tel Aviv University, conducted a study where at random a group of 4th-6th graders were instructed to sleep either more or less. The results were astonishing. “A loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to [the loss of] two years of cognitive maturation and development,” Sadeh explains. This is like a 6th grader performing at a 4th graders level after just three nights of poor sleep! Further, studies have shown that lack of sleep cannot allow a child to concentrate in class and therefore they often miss out on new material. If this happens day after day a child can certainly fall behind. Sleep has even been correlated to academic success for the littlest of students. Researchers at the University of Massachusetts, found that naptime for preschoolers allows them to better process and remember the information they learn in school. One group of students napped after a memory game while the other group was kept awake following the game. The children who slept approximately 77 minutes were able to remember 75% of what they learned – a full 10% more than the children who did not nap. So it appears, sleep is critical to learning no matter your age.

4. YOU!
If the information above isn’t enough to convince you to make your child’s sleep a priority, then what about your well being! To be a healthy well functioning adult, you need to get plenty of consolidated sleep. Remember that plan to exercise more this year to improve your health? Well adults who are not getting enough sleep have a much harder time motivating themselves to stick with a regular exercise regimen. Recent studies have linked poor quality sleep in older adults to a faster decline in the size of the frontal, temporal and parietal areas of the brain – the areas of the brain that are used in decision making and learning. What’s scarier? Too little sleep can lead to and speed up dementia in adult men. Wow, a good night sleep is more important that one may think! If your child is sleeping well, then chances are you will be too!

The Tip Take-Away: Make sleep a top priority and you will likely have a happier, self-assured, less demanding, and more sociable child. In turn, you will likely get some more sleep yourself enabling you to be a healthier adult and a better parent. It’s a win, win for all!

Amy Lage is a graduate of the University of Massachusetts Amherst and a Family Sleep Institute certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant. She is founder of Well Rested Baby (www.wellrestedbaby.com). She offers a host of services including in person, phone, email and Skype/FaceTime consultations that can be tailored to meet any family’s needs and schedule. Amy, her husband Jeff, their 5 year old Stella, their 3 year old Harley, and their two dogs Jackson and Cody live in Beverly Farms, Massachusetts. Please email her at amy@wellrestedbaby.com with any questions. Be sure to follow WRB on Facebook too more great sleep tips!

How I Do Gently Teach My Child to Self Soothe?

August 26, 2015 by Well Rested Baby

How to Teach Babies and Toddlers to Fall Asleep With Fewer Tears?

I was recently asked how to teach baby to sleep on his own without using the “cry out” method:

No parent likes to hear his or her child cry. From the time they are born, we do everything we can to prevent them from crying. We nurse, we bounce, we rock, we swaddle, we burp — anything we can muster to prevent our precious little ones from crying. Then comes the day…duhm, duhm, duhm…when you realize you can no longer bounce, or nurse, or rock etc. your baby to sleep. It dawns on you that your child (and you!) is not getting the sleep that he needs because he lacks the ability to put himself to sleep. But when the time comes to teach him to become a healthy independent sleeper, it is often hard to fathom the idea of allowing him to cry. Thankfully there are several methods available to teach a child to self soothe, as we as sleep consultants strive to come up with plans to match every parenting philosophy. In fact, there are more ways than I can list in a question & answer forum. And while there are many ways to teach a child to sleep — some gentle and some aggressive — there simply is no way to have zero tears. I am not trying to change your mind and push you to utilize a “Cry it out” method. I understand not wanting your baby to cry, but I think that it is important to be clear about what you can expect from the beginning.

Let’s discuss that for a minute: This concept of a “no tears” solution. When most parents come to me, all that their child has known thus far is being helped all the way to a sleeping state. When you decide that it is now their job to do this for themselves, they are of course going to protest. And babies communicate by crying. No matter how gentle you are in teaching them this new expectation (that they are now responsible to fall asleep on their own) they are going to protest with a few tears. It is important to understand that going in — THERE WILL BE A FEW TEARS no matter what. They are not “I need you tears,” or “I am hurt tears”, or “I am hungry tears,” they are “I would like your company as I fall asleep tears.” I respect all parenting philosophies and certainly understand not wanting to allow your baby to “cry it out” alone in his room. There are ways other than the CIO method that allow you to be with your baby and soothe them as they learns this new skill, but they will inevitably shed some tears in your presence.

Ok, so now that we are clear on your expectations let’s get back to your question — what other ways can you teach a baby?

The Younger Baby

For babies under 4 months of age, it is possible to teach them how to self soothe simply by putting them down awake whenever it is time to sleep. You go through your soothing routine and then put them in their crib, sleepy but awake. If they fuss it is ok, give them a minute to see if they can settle themself. If their fussing escalates to tears, pick them up and comfort them and then put them down again awake. Repeat. For this to work it is critical that they go into their crib awake so that they can learn to fall asleep on their own. They may fuss for a minute or two each time, but if you consistently allow them to try to do it for themselves — they will actually learn fairly quickly!

The Older Baby or Toddler

Teaching children older than 4 months is a bit more complicated as they have already learned a set of rules surrounding going to sleep and you will have to teach them a different set of expectations so that they will now fall asleep on their own. As I mentioned, there are a plethora of ways to effectively teach your child this skill. Check out a few books on the topic and utilize one that matches your ideals, or hire a child sleep consultant who will create a custom plan for you that is in line with your beliefs. No matter how you choose to go about teaching your baby, the most important part is being consistent. Babies and toddlers learn from our example, so if you switch back and forth trying things many different ways they will not understand what you expect. You will need to commit to following your plan to the T for a solid two weeks. This means you cannot give it a go for three days and declare that it is not working. Remember your child had many months to learn the current way of doing things so you need to give them some time to learn the new routine. And again, consistency is everything!

The WRB Sleep Cheat Sheet

August 6, 2015 by Well Rested Baby

No matter your child’s age, there are 5 key elements that if applied consistently lead to healthy sleep! Here is our tough-love, no nonsense, guide to getting your child’s sleep on track and keeping it there:

I became a pediatric sleep consultant after having a terrible time getting my first child to sleep. After researching for tips and advice and coming across conflicting information, I was still at a loss for what to do. After 9 months, I finally hired a sleep consultant and within two days my “terrible sleeper” was suddenly an incredible sleeper. It turns out that all along she (like all babies) had this ability, we just had not taught her. So what’s the secret? I introduce the WRB Cheat Sheet, 5 Simple Rules to get your baby’s sleep on track.

Rule #1 — Your Baby Needs to Sleep in His Crib. Period.
Unfortunately, as I learned babies are not fashion accessories that we should just expect to fit into our social calendar. The sooner you can come to terms with this the better. Life would be much easier if we could tote our kids anywhere, at anytime and expect that they will get the sleep they need, but unfortunately that’s not the case. Babies and toddlers will achieve their very best sleep in their bassinet, crib, or bed, and it should be your goal for them to do the majority of their sleeping in this consistent location. Yes, very little babies have the amazing ability to sleep through anything, but once they reach about 2 months old they start to become social beings and have a much harder time blocking out what’s going on around them. Sleeping at home in their own darkened room will make sure there are no distractions. Also, babies and toddlers have better quality, more restorative sleep when they are sleeping in a stationary location like their own bed. Vibrations or motion during sleep (think strollers and car seats) force the brain into a lighter sleep state and reduce the restorative power of the nap. It’s similar in comparison to the sleep that you get on an airplane: ok, but not really restful. A nap on-the-go here and there is fine, but most naps should be taken in your child’s bed. This does make you a bit of a slave to your house but ask anyone who has kids — that first year flies by. Before you know it you will be out and about and personally, I would rather stay in and have a well-rested child than be out with a cranky, overtired baby.

Rule #2 — Your Baby Needs to Nap at the Correct Times
Naptime should follow your baby’s biological clock. We all have internal clocks called circadian rhythms that make us feel drowsy at certain times. It is easiest at these times to fall asleep and get our most restorative sleep. These times change as your child grows older. If you can base your child’s nap schedule so that they sleep in sync with these rhythms they will be able to achieve their best sleep. While it is sometimes daunting to follow a schedule, it will provide you the confidence to know exactly when your child will need to sleep and that he is getting the sleep that he needs.

Rule #3 — Insist on An Early Bedtime
Bedtime should be early enough to ensure that your child goes to bed before they become overtired. A child who is overtired has a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep. This is because when we get overtired we release the stress hormones cortisol, adrenaline and noradrenaline. This is a primitive fight or flight response, which is intended to keep us going. While this was probably helpful to cavemen, it is not when it kicks in for your baby and he gets a “second wind”. When this response occurs on a regular basis these hormones actually build up in your baby’s system and then cause him to wake-up in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Although it sounds counterintuitive, an early bedtime WILL NOT cause your child to wake earlier in the morning. In fact, early bedtimes help children to sleep later as they are better able to self soothe and consolidate sleep without the presence of these hormones. In short, an early bedtime allows babies to achieve longer stretches of better quality sleep. As an added bonus, it provides more time for you to unwind and have “you” time in the evening. What parent doesn’t need that?

Rule #4 — A Consistent Routine:
This one is so simple to achieve, yet so important! Babies and toddlers crave routine in their daily schedules as it helps them know what to expect. They follow patterns and your cues, so if you create a consistent soothing routine before sleep times then they will know to expect sleep to come next. Your soothing routine does not need to be anything complicated — maybe a book and a nice soothing song — but it needs to be consistent and should always end with your child going into bed sleepy, but awake.

Rule #5 — Teach Your Child to Fall Asleep
If your child relies on you to be with them until they are fast asleep, how will they know how to put themselves back to sleep when a sleep cycle ends during nap time or when they wake at night? Self-soothing is a skill that every child must learn to be an independent sleeper. Once your child is on the correct schedule and is falling asleep before he becomes overtired, self-soothing will come much more easily. There are lots of methods for teaching your child to self-soothe. Some methods involve more tears but work very quickly and some have little or no tears but take a bit longer. They all accomplish the same end goal — teaching your child to fall asleep on their own. This is one of the best skills you can teach a child as it enables them to become well rested, independent and better able to handle the opportunities and challenges each day presents.

This article also appeared on the Zipadee Zip Blog – http://www.sleepingbaby.com/blogs/news/18517181-5-simple-rules-to-get-your-babys-sleep-on-track

4 Month Sleep Regression?

July 6, 2015 by Well Rested Baby

Nope, 4 month leap forward!

At least once a week I receive an email from a panic stricken parent of a 4 month old stating something similar to this:

“My son turned 4 months old last week and his sleeps seems to have fallen apart. He was sleeping for a stretch of 8-10 hours at night and now he is suddenly waking every 2 hours. My friends have told me he is going through the 4-month sleep regression. How do I get my good sleeper back?”

What these parents are experiencing is a change that all babies go through around 4 months of age. While many refer to it as the “4 month sleep regression”, it is actually a sign that their child is growing and maturing and making an exciting leap forward. A sleep regression is defined as a cognitive, physical and/or emotional development that disrupts a child’s normal sleep pattern. A child younger than 4 months actually has not developed any sleep patterns – so it is not possible for a regression to have taken place! Up until now the baby’s daily needs have been random: he has slept when he wanted to sleep and eaten when he wanted to eat. Now suddenly his body is developing biological rhythms that tell him when he should be sleeping.

We all have internal clocks called circadian rhythms that are genetically controlled. These biological clocks have evolved from daytime (light) and nighttime (dark) cues. These biological rhythms make us feel drowsy at certain times and sleeping in sync with them will produce the most restorative and best quality sleep possible. As we age these times shift. Up until this point, the baby’s brain was too immature to sync with this internal clock. For this reason, his body had an easy time sleeping anywhere and at anytime. Now that his brain has started to mature, he is in need of a schedule that works with this rhythm – including a bedtime that fits in and allows him to sleep before he is overtired.

So what’s the correct schedule for a 4 month old? I recommend a schedule where the first nap is starting between 8-9am, the second nap is starting between 11:30-12:30pm and the third nap starts about 90 minutes after he wakes up from nap two. As naps are just starting to develop, you will need to watch your baby for his sleepy cues and then get him down within these windows. Remember, at 4 months old the baby’s circadian rhythms are just starting to develop. They will continue to evolve over the next few weeks; therefore you will see some inconsistency with napping. Some days will be great and others will be all over the place. You will need to be consistent with your approach and put your baby down for his naps in these biologically age appropriate windows – while not allowing him to become overtired. Having him on a schedule where he is sleeping during his biological sleep waves will allow him to achieve his best quality sleep, however he will still need to learn some self soothing skills. If you have not started already, this is a good time to allow him to learn to put himself to sleep.

Bedtime should roll right into this schedule and be about 90 minutes after your baby wakes up from his third nap. So if he napped from 3-4pm, bedtime would be at 5:30pm. It is a common misconception that putting your child to bed this early will cause them to wake early. This is not true. An early bedtime that occurs before a baby can become overtired, actually allows them to sleep longer and later into the morning. It is very common for babies this age to start sleeping 12-13 hours a night at this point if they go to bed early enough.

I understand that this change can be frustrating as it has caused your baby’s sleep to seemingly take a step back, but I can assure you that this is a necessary step to getting him on a consistent schedule and allowing him to learn to be a great independent sleeper.

This article originally appeared in Brewster Macaroni Kid. Click here to view article.

Newborn Sleep 101

June 22, 2015 by Well Rested Baby

HELP!!! My 3 week old sleeps all day and is up all night. My 6 week old baby screams every day from 6-8pm. Our newborn will only sleep in our arms. These are all pleas I hear via email (often sent in the wee hours of the morning) from new parents. While I wish that I could help them teach their babies to sleep, the reality is that for the first 6-8 weeks of a (full term) baby’s life, there is nothing you can do to influence their schedule or teach them sleeping skills. They will sleep when they want to and eat when they want to and for the schedule-driven, Type-A parent – that is killer. Despite your personality type, those first several weeks are tough! Of course, there are the blessed few who have dream babies who angelically sleep day and night from day one. For the rest of us, thankfully there are ways to cope! Here are some ideas:

A Cure for the Confusion?

The dreaded Day/Night confusion! Babies are born without a biological clock. Our bodies follow circadian rhythms that are controlled by external light and dark cues. Without these rhythms present, a newborn’s sleep lacks any sort of pattern. Unfortunately there isn’t a lot you can do to “fix” this issue. Some babies respond well to “light therapy” – making sure they are exposed to sunlight upon waking and thru the day and then come evening, dimming all of the lights in the house until bedtime. This can start to “prime” their biological clock. It is also helpful to keep the room dim for any night feedings and to interact with your baby as little as possible so that you can communicate that it is in fact sleep-time and not playtime. I adhere to the philosophy “never wake a sleeping baby”, but when they are awake during the day, try to keep them up for a minimum of 30 minutes (but not so long that they become overtired) to help set their clock. I know when you are in the thick of day/night confusion it seems utterly horrible, but remind yourself that it is only for a short time and that all babies grow out of it by 6 weeks of age.

Schedule Schmedule

If your baby could talk, that is what he would tell you about that. Try as you will, but it is near impossible to get a baby 8 weeks or younger on anything that resembles a consistent schedule. One day there will be a two-hour morning nap then next day that nap will be 30 minutes. Remember – no circadian rhythms equals no sleep schedule. One thing that you can rely on is how long your baby can tolerate being awake. If you watch your baby you will see that after only 45-60 minutes of being awake they will be ready for another snooze! If you are dying for some sort of rule or reliable piece of info about newborn sleep – here it is: your baby cannot handle being awake for longer than 45-60 minutes at a time for the first two months of their life. So make sure to keep an eye on the clock and provide your little one with a nap when the time rolls around. And be sure to factor in enough time to have them asleep by that mark and not just getting the process started.

That Dreaded Time of Day

Most of us have heard of the “Witching Hour”, that lovely time of day when your precious baby just doesn’t seem so precious. Most parents assume it’s just something that they have to live with until their baby grows out of it. Or that their baby is colicky. Maybe, but remember that wakeful period we just discussed? With 99% of the newborns I have worked with, once their caregivers were watching the clock and taking care that their baby was asleep before they became dreadfully overtired (wait for it), it DISAPEARED! For many babies the witching hour is just that baby’s way of saying – “hey guys, I am really tired here”. So give it a shot and see if it happens. If your baby’s “Witching Hour” begins in the early evening around 6pm or later – opt for an early bedtime instead trying to squeeze in one last nap. Yes, your baby may be ready for a feed just three hours later (at your bedtime – bonus!) but they will be happy and rested and not screaming in your ear. Maybe you can even have a few minutes of downtime or enjoy dinner together!

I Want a Golden Goose Now, Daddy!

While none of us want to raise a spoiled child, this is one time you do not need to have that worry about that occurring. You CANNOT spoil a baby under 8 weeks of age or do anything that will impact their ability to learn to self soothe at a later date! This one is in a two-way tie for my most valuable piece of advice (along with the short wakeful period). You need to do whatever it takes to get your baby and you the sleep you all need. For some babies that means figuring out what soothes them. For some it’s a pacifier, for some it’s white noise and still for others it’s a combo of things. I highly recommend Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s as they do in fact work and may just save your sanity in those early days. This notion of not being able to spoil your newborn also means that means allowing them to sleep wherever it’s easiest for both you and them. Be it in a swing, or in your arms, or in sling attached to you (I love the Baby K’tan or Moby Wrap) – again, whatever gets your family the most sleep!

The Tip Take-Away:

Newborns are finicky little things. Just remember these two things and you’ll be fine: do not allow them to be awake for longer than 60 minutes at a time and do whatever it takes to get them (and you) the sleep needed. In less than 12 months all of this will seem like a distant memory. You will be missing your “baby” and contemplating doing it all over again.

This article originally appeared on Hoboken Mommies – click here for article.

Milestone Mayhem!

April 27, 2015 by Well Rested Baby

How & Why New Skills May Impact Your Baby’s Naps

Check out my latest article in this weeks

Macaroni Stork – click here!

The Science

I love to share my favorite nap fun-fact with parents of babies: during your baby’s first year+ of life, his morning nap and his afternoon nap actually serve different biological purposes. Yes, they both help your tired little bug rest up, but the morning nap is mentally restorative in nature and the afternoon nap is physically restorative. How do we know this? According my favorite pediatrician Dr. Marc Weissbluth, this occurrence is evidenced by the fact that “there is more REM sleep in the morning nap compared to the afternoon nap”. And we know from research that REM sleep is directly related to brain maturation and restoration and that non-REM sleep is replenishing for the body.

Practice Makes Perfect

I have seen further evidence to this fact in my practice. For example, I often receive emails from parents of 11-12 month old babies at their wits end because their amazing napper has boycotted his afternoon nap for 6 straight days. Right away, without knowing many of the details, I can almost always assume their baby is on the cusp of mastering standing, cruising, or walking. You see, not only do the two naps serve two distinct purposes, but they also tend to be when babies practice their new skills. If your child is going through a cognitive leap, or mastering a fine motor skill, often the morning nap is impacted, as that is when your child chooses to go over their new skill. And when they are mastering a new gross motor skill, they practice during their afternoon nap. Working on new skills during sleep times makes much more sense than one would initially think – after all, naptimes are the one time a day your baby gets to be truly alone with his thoughts. You may or may not find all this fascinating, but if you’re still reading this then you’re surely wondering: when can you expect these blips in your child’s naps and what should you do when they occur?

Common Times for Naptime Crazies

Disruptions to the morning nap: Assuming your baby is on an age appropriate schedule and has self-soothing skills, if his morning nap takes a sudden turn, it is likely that he is going through a cognitive leap. The first time I usually see this phenomenon come into play is around 5.5-6 months as baby enters “The Wonder Weeks” Leap #5 – “The World of Relationships”. In short, during this leap he is learning the spatial relationships between items. As you can imagine this is a very big concept for such a little person to comprehend and voila – they fall asleep for their morning nap very late as they roll around pondering this new concept or sometimes the nap is skipped all together. Personally the most trying cognitive disturbance for both my daughters happened around 9 months when they were learning about cause and effect. My older daughter would stand in her crib and toss out her binkies instead of sleeping and my younger daughter would toss her prized lovey and then call and call for it’s return. And still for other babies of this age, they simply just stand for long periods of time rather than lying down (read this for more). Fortunately this only lasted a few days, as I was able to stay consistent and leave them be to figure out that they would not get these objects back once they were thrown. But don’t get me wrong, it still stressed me out. Speech and language development are another big one in the for your baby’s morning nap to be impacted and are common again at around the one year mark.
Afternoon Nap Nonsense: Again, your child’s afternoon nap can be impacted by new gross motor skills. The first time we usually see this phenomenon is when your baby learns to roll from back to belly. They usually master this first great gross motor skill quickly if you can leave them be to work it out on their own (read this for more on rolling over). The next big one is crawling and then of course pulling up to stand, cruising and the biggie – walking. Walking is the granddaddy of frustration, as often times it causes them to fully skip their second nap for a week plus as they work through the new skill.

Tips To Get Through These Leaps

It can be incredibly frustrating when your great napper suddenly struggles, but it does make it a bit easier to know that it is happening because they are working on a new skill. What can you do to ease through these periods? Nothing. Literally – you should do absolutely nothing. Keep offering the naps at the correct times (or a bit earlier so they can work on this skill and still fall asleep before becoming overtired). Keep leaving them in their crib for the full duration of naptime – whether they sleep or not. And as tempting as it may be, do not go in and try to lie them down, roll them over, or verbally coax them into going to sleep. This will simply prolong the nap boycott by 1.) Not allowing them to work through the skill on their own or 2.) By stimulating them with the interaction of you coming and going. Further, for older babies, your intervention will become a game, as they will keep doing whatever it is that gets you coming in and telling them not to do. So again, keep their schedule and routine consistent, stay out of the room, leave them be to work on it on their own, be consistent and their naps will come back just as quickly as they went awry.

Amy Lage is a graduate of the University of Massachusetts, Amherst and a Family Sleep Institute certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant. She is founder of Well Rested Baby (www.wellrestedbaby.com). She offers a host of services including in person, phone, email and Skype/FaceTime consultations that can be tailored to meet any family’s needs and schedule. Please email her at amy@wellrestedbaby.com with any questions. Be sure to follow WRB on Facebook & Twitter too for more great sleep tips!

Your Baby’s Perfect Nursery

April 16, 2015 by Well Rested Baby

Your Child’s Ideal Sleep Environment

Are you expecting a little bundle of joy and looking for advice in planning your nursery? Or perhaps you are looking to revamp your child’s room to create the optimal sleep environment? Here are some tips to have everything in place so your baby’s room can be the perfect nursery and all you dreamed it would be:

Think Cave Like

Hmmm cave and newborn, two words that don’t really work together. They do when it comes to sleep! A baby sleeps best in a dark, cool and damp room. Well not damp exactly, but its great to run a humidifier especially during winter months. The ideal sleep temperature for your baby’s room is somewhere between 65-70 degrees. I suggest shooting for 68 degrees. Also, make sure to include black out curtains on your windows. The darker the better.

Toys Belong in the Toy Bin

Mobiles are cute and touted as a must have above your baby’s crib, but they are a distraction from sleep. When your baby is in his crib, sleep is our only goal. If a mobile was an intricate part of your nursery plans – consider using it as a decorative accent over your rocking chair or as a stimulating diaper changing activity over your changing pad. Your baby’s crib should be free of stuffed animals and toys including mirrors and light up musical toys marketed as soothing devices. Yes, that means no Glow Worms.

Trade Your Lullabies For White Noise

We have all seen movies with babies drifting off to sleep with soft lovely music playing. That may work for Hollywood babies, but for real babies music played during sleep is a form of stimulation and doesn’t allow the brain to rest as it tries to process the information it is hearing. Instead, consider playing white noise that will actually aid your baby in his sleep. However, music played prior to bed, during your child’s soothing routine, is acceptable and has even been found to assist in the relaxation process.

For Safety Sake

Remember that safety is always a priority when it comes to your child’s sleep environment. Yes bumpers look pretty, but they impede the circulation of air within your crib. And coordinating quilts look great in Pottery Barn Kids ads, but save them for your child’s first big kid bed. Your child’s mattress should be firm and your crib sheet should be fitted. The crib should also be free of all blankets and pillows. Instead of loose blankets, use a swaddle or a Zipadee-zip for your little one who still has a startle reflex and choose a sleep sack or wearable blanket for your older baby. These wearable items will keep them safe, cozy and warm.

Click here for the original article featured in Macaroni Kid

Amy Lage is a graduate of the University of Massachusetts Amherst and a Family Sleep Institute certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant. She is founder of Well Rested Baby (www.wellrestedbaby.com). She offers a host of services including in person, phone, email and Skype/FaceTime consultations that can be tailored to meet any family’s needs and schedule. Amy, her husband Jeff, their 4 year old Stella, their 2 year old Harley, and their two dogs Jackson and Cody live in Beverly Farms, Massachusetts. Please email her at amy@wellrestedbaby.com with any questions. Be sure to follow WRB on Facebook too more great sleep tips!